30-36 Books for your babies !!!!

When i had my daughter prematurely i was told she would probably be behind on learning. I was determined not to let this happen and to give her the best possible start. I had always been an avid reader,and knew how important it is to read to babies.I read to her in her pram from the day i took her home,and she had her own library card from 3 months!(she weighed about 7lbs when i took her in-i did get some funny looks)
I read her about a dozen books every day ! and when she was old enough to crawl if i sat down i was bombarded with books! our home has always been full of books,and she still reads alot.She is now 8,she is not behind -she is above average in literacy,is a walking dictionary at times (she uses insane words!) and school always comment about her expressive reading!
Children learn everything from hearing it.The best thing anyone can do for there child is talk to them about everything (even what shopping you buy) and read to them often,it does`nt matter what ,even reading babies the tv mag-they don`t know the difference. You will reap the rewards when they go to school.I really miss the early years i spent with my daughter,we had so much quality time together.

30-36 Losing A Parent

Mum died when i was 31,and my daughter was 18 months.She had lung disease.We knew eventually she would die from the disease but they could`nt put a time scale on it.I am glad she did`nt suffer to long.She was only diagnosed the year before and was still working untill a few months before her death.She caught an infection about 3 weeks before her death and had to be moved around in a wheel chair.She then caught a second infection which she could`nt fight. I was`nt with her when she died,i was quite glad about that.It took a long while to forget how she sounded when she breathed. She was very chirpy till the second infection,she was a fighter!She was only little though (4ft.10) but a very tough lady,very strong willed and opiniated  a very strong character who ALWAYS spoke her mind. She was fabulous though.Sometimes i find myself standing a certain way or doing something,and i think "oh no i`m turning into my mother!!!"

30-36 Imaginary Friends Are Great Fun!

When my daughter was 2 she started talking to imaginary friends. They were her hands! Her right hand was called Onion and her left was Heddy! She would move them like hand puppets.She would sit at the table and Onion would say "we hate broccoli don`t we" Then Heddy would say "you don`t know till you try" It was funny! Another time my daughter threw herself on the floor and said "mum,onion just pushed me" and i had to say "onion stop pushing". Another time my daughter was pulling herself along by the neck of her jumper-she said "mum,onions pulling my clothes" i said "onion stop pulling her clothes you`ll tear them". I tried to tell Onion off one day,i said if he kept being naughty i would stop him coming to play.He said "you can`t stop me i`m attached to her!" That was quite unnerving! Onion and Heddy stayed around untill she was about 5,then she seemed to have other friends (not attached to her) She would come home from school with achievement stickers or certificates,hide them behind her back and go in her bedroom.You would hear "you guys look what i have" (she was into Hannah Montana by this stage so everything was you guys!) she would whip it out and baske in the praise ,one of her friends would say "wow you`re so clever" she would reply "i know!".
She is 8 now and still talks to herself,i think it is probably healthy.Worries me a little when she is talking while on the toilet!

30-36 Caring for a prem baby

I took her home at 4 weeks.She had to have a special prem baby milk that cost double what normal formula cost.When she left hospital she weighed ,4lb 5oz!
The birth had taken its toll on me,i never admitted it to anyone at the time but i think i suffered post-natal depression.I cried every day for the first year.I did`nt feel like her mother,i just felt like someone who was looking after her.I really don`t think my bond with her started untill my own mum died when baby was 18  months.I felt guilty for feeling like that but i felt that if i told doctors etc how i felt they would take her away.Irrational,but thats how it was! I was eventually diagnosed with post natal depression when she was 2.
She had a few health problems,asthma was one.The doctor we were with kept saying she was`nt asthmatic,but lots of my family suffer so i was sure i was right.I moved her to another doctors who diagnosed her.By the time they did she had to have steroid inhalers.Always trust yourself we parents basically know our own children.

24-30 Pre Eclampsia and a Premature baby

At week 32 of my pregnancy i developed pre eclampsia after months of high blood pressure.They rushed me to theatre to prepare for birth.I remember my body would`nt stop shaking violently.They seemed concerned which made me worse,i think it was probably just nerves.They gave me an epidural which stopped my bottom half shaking but my top half shook for the whole birth.After she was born i kissed the top of her head and she was whisked away to neo-natal,i was`nt allowed down to see her for 36 hours because my BP was so high,all i had was a picture they bought me.When i was allowed down to her i was still not allowed to pick her up because she was being fed hourly through a drip and she was sick after every feed so she could`nt be moved.I desperately wanted to breast feed but because i could`nt pick her up i had to express,it did`nt work for me,i think my maternal instinct was not there because of the birth,i could not produce milk which made me feel like a failure.I tried for 3 weeks then gave up.It took ages for me to forgive myself for this even though it was`nt my fault.I know my bond with her was damaged in the first year which is something that angered me for a long time,but you can`t change the past you have to let it go.

24-30 Pregnancy and sexual Discrimination.

I first met hubby a few days after my 29th birthday.I got pregnant a little too soon in our relationship which was a bit of a strain.I was working at a bakery at the time,i had only been there a couple of months,they were not impressed when i told them i was pregnant.As i had been there under 3 months they tried to force me out.They changed my hours to unsociable hours,tried to give me heavy lifting jobs and the manageress and asst manageress were complete cows to me.I left and on legal advice,after they refused to let me back i took them to an employment tribunal.The 3 month rule in work does`nt exist with pregnancy,you have the same rights as everyone else.My pregnancy was complicated and i spent most of it in hospital,my waters were leaking from week 19 making it impossible to do scans (we had to go to london for special scans),i caught an infection at week 26 and had to have steroid injections to prepare her lungs for early delivery.She was born at 32 weeks,i will divulge further in next post.
I was to ill to go to court and settled out of court,they admitted sexual discrimination,but would`nt admit unfair dismissal,i was too ill to fight.I did get compensation but not what i should have.But i made my point and stood up for myself!

24-30 Blind Dates.

I had a friend who i went to school with who i used to go out with occasionally.She liked to set me up with men,but i think they were probably her cast offs!!! One blind date she told me would be my type because he had long hair,what i did`nt know was that it was on his chin! He was mr ZZ TOP (remember them?) I dont like full on beards i`m afraid. Another blind date was rather nervous and when i asked what he enjoyed doing he replied",Ha Ha Ha i steal car radios",then backtracked and said "but i don`t do it now" I did`nt see him again.Another one spent the whole evening  talking about my friend,turns out he wanted her but she was already taken so she tried to pass him on! Another one only gave one word answers to everything i said,not the most exciting evening of my life-when he dropped me off he said "i`ll phone you" (the most he had said all evening)
So the moral of the story is blind dates=not a good idea,or are they? My husband was actually a set up by my sister and her hubby.Still not quite sure if i am grateful to her!!!!!!!!!!!

18-24 Obsessive Compulsive

When i worked the year running the bakery i had a major OCD thing going on! When i locked the doors at the end of the day i would double check and triple check them!Then i would still get up the road and have to go back and check again.The sane part of me knew it was crazy but i could`nt control it.
I had a reoccuring nightmare that i would be in the shop at closing time,there would be loads of cleaning to do,i would lock the doors go behind the counter and dozens of people would come through the door!!!I would serve them lock the door and check it ,go behind the counter and then dozens would come through the door!!! What a state to get in over a job-it was rubbish money.I am still slightly obsessive about my front door but on the positive side i won`t ever have to worry about forgetting to shut the door!!!
 A few years ago,I used to have a neighbour in the flat opposite who would take her shoes off outside the door and spend 10 mins lining them up straight!!!She would step back look at them,straighten them again,that is a serious OCD!!
It was mean watching her through the peep hole,but what was even meaner was hubby used to put them upside down when he went to work!!EVIL!

18-24 Panic Attacks,Tattoos and Gigging!

When i was 22 i worked in a bakery as assistant manageress.I suffered with crippling panic attacks and seriously thought i was dying at times.When the Manageress went on long term sickness after an op i took over,i was pretty good ( Modest) i got the takings up every week,but when the manageress retired after i had been running the shop for a year the company said i was too young to have her job and brought someone else in!I left soon after.Looking back i was too nice anyway the staff used to take the mick a bit (one women used to pop home to get a slicer to cut one cucumber!she could have cut it ten times over with a knife-but she said it was quicker)
I had my first tattoo at 22,followed a few years later by another.I love them (thats for the american women in Cyprus who said "you`ll regret that in ten years time",)why is it always ten years?Made an agreement with my hubby not to have more if he stops wearing bubblegum yellow jumpers!
Went to lots of gigs in my 20s,as many as 10 a year! Metallica,Megadeth,Dandy Warhols,Def Leppard, Deus,Elliott Smith,Placebo,Suede,Pantera,to name a few.Those days are gone now!Still do the occasional gig,and not forgetting festivals.

18-24 Dodgy penpals and my first boyfriend.

When i was 18 i had 42 penpals,handwriting to them all! It was fun waiting for the postman,iwould get about 4 or5 letters most days. There were some great ones and some decidedly dodgy ones! I had two 15 year old boys who declared there love for me, sending very detailed accounts of what they would like to do to me,they soon got bored when i did`nt respond,and one 20 something man drew lovely pics of what he imagined i looked like naked (i did`nt send a pic,did`nt want to disapoint) he was very artistic!I did meet a few,they were great,not the dodgy ones though!
I met my first boyfriend from my penpals (a late starter) Dad called him Thatch,he had long hair all down his back (none on his head,just down his back!!!) I thought he was great with his long hair and leather jacket,did`nt last long!
Had some disastrous relationships in my 20s,one used to walk 2 paces in front,one was a deppresive who cried alot,one made a supposedly sexy outfit out of a bin bag (the funniest thing i have ever seen!) He really thought he looked good-i could`nt stop laughing! Men !!!!!!!

12-18 The one eyed tennis ball !

When mum got home from hospital her head was completely shaved,and one of her eyes was closed (caused by the op.)Dad said when he woke in the night she looked like a one eyed tennis ball bouncing to the toilet.Luckily mum did`nt lose her sense of homour! Mum did suffer for a while with depression,obviously from the head trauma.She openly admitted to suicidal thoughts,that was a scary time. Thankfully they did`nt last long and she was in better health than before-nothing like nearly dying to put things into perspective.

Michael Thomas is fundraising for Macmillan Cancer Support

Michael Thomas is fundraising for Macmillan Cancer Support

12-18 The day of Mums Haemorrhage

I can remember the day mum collapsed clearly.I remember she had had headaches for several days and had just started to get about again.I went out in the morning on the bus to the next village and bought some new earrings.They were dangly with white tassles.When we got home Mum collapsed,we were told it could be several things.We were told there was a high chance of her not making it.She was in hospital in Whitechapel for i think 6 weeks after major surgery.She did make it she was a fighter!
I was never able to wear those earrings,they must have symbolised that day.I got rid of them.A few years ago someone offered me a pair of earrings just like them, i could`nt even touch them,it`s strange how things affect you!
I believe very strongly everything happens for a reason,even though it was a terrible time people learned not to take life for granted,Mum and Dad grew closer,making up silly names for each other,mum gave up smoking and was definately healthier for it.

6-12 cont...The strangest Doll Ever!!!

I`m still on 6-12 because i keep remembering things i just have to tell you about.One christmas or birthday,i can`t remember which,Mum brought me a new doll.This doll was brown skinned ,looked like tinytears,and had BLONDE hair.Am i the only one who thinks a brown doll with blonde hair is a bit weird.I think she must have brought it from Del Trotter!!! I could`nt hide my dislike for it and was very rude about it,which i deeply regretted (ungrateful cow!)
I`m glad i got that one off my chest,sorry mum if you`re looking down on me!I really loved the double pram you brought me(Till you gave it to the playgroup) so you got it right mostly.Not the doll though!

Grandads finger!!!

I remember my Grandad only had half a middle finger on one hand.He told me he had sucked it so much it had shrunk,i was gullible enough to believe him for ages untill someone told me he had lost it in an accident.It stopped me sucking my thumb though!
Another memory i have of childhood was finding dead animals(mostly rodents caught by cats)and burying them in the garden,and making a cross with lolly sticks!Then we would all go to church and pray to God to take care of them.We must have looked a sight a bunch of kids on there knees praying!
Mum used to cook everything homemade before she went to work when i was in my teens.I remember shepherds pie,toad in the hole and homemade pies.Mums pastry used to be about an inch thick!I would challenge anyone to eat mums pastry and try to walk after!!!

6-12 cont...The Sacred Orange

My grandad kept an orange in the glass cabinet! After he died his second wife dolly kept it there.The story goes that when his first wife died there was a bowl of fruit next to her bed and it sat there untouched,and all the fruit rotted except this one orange. They believed something a bit mystical had happened to it. It sat in the cabinet for years.I remember when we went to see Dolly we used to fight over who got to hold the orange!!!It was a grey colour and felt hollow.I dont know what happened to The Sacred Orange when she died maybe it still lives on!

6-12 cont...Polka Dot Skirts And Torvill And Dean!

At my school we had an outdoor pool.I hated swimming,the Headmaster used to put a rope round our waists and pull us along.Can you imagine getting away with that now?We also played alot of cricket which i enjoyed but i remember it was hard to walk in the pads!We did Country dancing wearing polka dot skirts (i remember green,yellow and red) and we played netball.We also entered chess tournaments with other schools.I remember when i first learned Chess,the Headmaster gave us a book to learn from and i played my first match against my cousin.Neither of us knew how to play properly and somehow we took each others kings!We were left with a blank board.The Headmaster was`nt impressed.We also learned Recorder,We did fit alot of stuff into our days.
We had one computer for the whole school,so you rarely got to use it (not like now they have one each!)I remember we had to write with pencil or ink pens (my hand were always covered in ink)For punishment we had lines,but i loved writing so the effect was lost on me!
I loved writing poetry and the first piece i remember was about Torvill and Dean,it made it on the wall (it only made it with no mistakes!)

6-12 Early Attempts To Self Publish

I developed a love for books at an early age.I can still remember the first book i was allowed to choose for
myself  that was`nt a colour coded learning book.It was called 'The Ordinary Princess`and i loved it and
read it over and over.Mum brought me the classic Ladybird books.I loved Rumpelstilskin,Rapunzel and
Hansel and Gretel,but the stories confused me even then.I remember asking why the girl in Rumpelstilskin
married the greedy king and had his baby when he threatened to kill her if she did`nt turn straw into gold!
Call me fussy but i would`nt want to make babies with that man! I don`t think you are supposed to notice these things.
We used to make our own books,we would fold sheets of paper and mum would sew along the fold.I drew
pictures on one side and wrote on the other.Due to lack of space at home these were not kept,they would have been fun to look back at.
We used to pretend we were in 'St Winifreds School Choir`who remembers Grandma we love you?we also pretended to be Bucks Fizz,i always had to be one of the boys!I got to be a girl in Charlies Angels though so it was'nt too bad.

0-6 cont...The Incident with the Three Billy Goats Gruff !

I was a wetter when young.At school we had a nurse who dealt with bed wetting,I remember
having meetings with her and mum at the school.
They gave me a buzzer,which was a contraption to go under my sheet that attached to a
machine that went off when i started to wee.It sounded like Operation when you hit the sides,
it didnt work it woke mum up but not me!
I used to take books to bed with me.One incident that i remember vividly was when mum bought
me The Three Billy Goats Gruff.I obviously fell asleep with it and woke up to find it a bit soggy.
I can remember sobbing to mum,I weed on the Three Billy Goats.
I did grow out of it .....by the time i was 35!   Just joking!

0-6 All Tied Up - Literally!

My earliest memory is of being tied to a lamp post.I was 4 apparantly and some boys came to the door and
asked if i could go out to play.They were a couple of years older and mum obviously thought it was ok,and not at all suspect!They convinced me to let them tie me up (i was only 4) then ran off leaving me screaming till a neighbour released me.
I was accident prone in the first 4 years,I broke my arm, I think someone pushed me down a hill in a pram and let go!And my ankle broke in the pedal of a trike.
Dad played darts in a pub team.He had a board in the dining room.I remember us standing on dining chairs to be high enough to play.One day I will have a house big enough to have a room to play darts!
We lived in a 3 bed house,2 parents,5 children and vast numbers of pets.
My brother loved wrestling and I have memories of being made to submit,held in boston crabs(i think that`s what it was) and being Daddy splashed! He was younger than me (he was about 4, me about 6) but he took it serious and he did hurt.I went into retirement at an early age!

Intro

My name is Carol,I am 38,married with one 8 year old daughter.
I have wanted to write my life story for years but didn`t think there was much
to say,untill I started to make notes! They were never ending!
I think it is more exciting reading than celebrity rubbish.
I have wanted to write novels since I was 6, and am only now starting to
get to a stage where I like my own stuff. I am my own worst critic!
Mark Oliver Everetts autobiography, Things the grandchildren should know, set me thinking
that this writing my life story thing might be possible.
I love writing pen and paper,typing is not natural for me so please excuse the mistakes.